letters to my lovers

What’s in a name. 

It’s automatic when I melt. Involuntary movements and am nothing more than a puddle of emotions. Sitting here with this phone to my ear, what a way to begin my morning. It’s such a surreal feeling when I hear the intro “Good morning, such and such place, this is ______ speaking…” Do you know how many people share your name? It makes my heart skip a beat just hearing it through this phone. Your name ringing in my ears and I am just, here. It’s like a whole lifetime flashes before me stinging my eyes. Oh the nights that I prayed for our beginnings. I want to melt through this phone into the voice that speaks your name. Why can’t it be you on the other end? No, I am aware the tone is not the same. I’m more than certain there are more differences than similarities in reality. I’m sure the person behind the name could never really evoke the emotions that you actually brought forth but damnit my heart can’t decipher shit sometimes. I would love to say your name once more, just to feel it on my lips once more. Mouthing each letter between escapes of delight. The taste of two syllables have never been so satisfying. It’s even better when it’s whispered against skin. It’s punishing not having what I thought would’ve been something beautiful. There’s difficulty in keeping a heart that still aches and yearns. You know, I learned how to sow so I’d be able to create new ways to stitch my heart back together. What was the purpose of us meeting? It’s cruel the way life works itself out. Don’t you agree? But I didn’t really want to start conversation again with you, he just introduced himself and it made me smile. I just remember how good it felt to say your name.

Model info: Brianna Capozzi

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