Tea conversations: part 1 

So maybe worrying about such trivial things should just fade for me. I see everyone else out here just living or appearing to live and I am here. Just here. Listening to his dreams feeling foolish for my own. I’m finding it harder to resurrect my once free spirited self. Life’s ways have an undenyig process of stripping you of everything you’ve believed in and fought for and loved and lived. It’s hard. Mornings I rise and repeat “can I start again” within just five minutes of the sun blessing my skin. Nourishing me and bathing me in the glow, in the hands of the most high but although I have risen I never really feel that I’ve fully arrived. Am I making sense? Are my words breaking through to you? I’ve only lost my way yet again and again and again. I watched the moon grow last night and became jealous of just fast and full and big she became in my night sky. And I felt a wave anger and rage and slight confusion come over me as I questioned why can’t I be just like the moon… 
Arrive and just shine. 
Be bright and big. 
And just rule someone’s night sky. 
I see everyone just living or appearing to be living fully, and I wonder if their mind ever trails off as mine does on nights when I realize something ain’t right, something is going undiscovered… 
I’m just jealous of the moon… 

Written: September 21,2013

Leave me a comment