I have to remember that gifts are given and gifts can be taken. What’s practice without effort? I said I would make sure to find time to write today. I stared at a blank screen for half a day wondering what to say and write about. I always fumble on that part. What do I have to say/write about with this life I’m living? Is it exciting enough to share? How many ways can I talk about the sex I want to be having or the sex life I gave up to prove to myself I’m ready for a relationship? What could I possibly say for others to take interest? That last question is where I fuck up at. I always told myself to write for no audience because the moment I realize someone or people are reading, the shift in purpose changes. Because with or without an audience I’m writing to remember. To reflect. I’m writing to live life, love and sex over and over again. To be aware and mindful. I’m writing to grow. I love when others take interest, I feel good and excited that anyone finds anything I do write remotely interesting enough to full read, but I have to remind myself everything doesn’t need an audience. Because with or without an audience you’re still you. You’re still living. And you’re still full of stories. Stop focusing so much on what to write and just… WRITE.
Written September 1,2016