But do I even want that? So, maybe I’m glad it wasn’t me. Currently battling myself. This is who I am. Free spirited and soulful. Open mouth, speaking truths. Taking avenues in life to satisfy cravings, asking for a loved one or two to join. Pure unadulterated, me. I love me. But why doesn’t anybody else? The battle resides in the decision of becoming a softer woman so I can appeal to the male species or just remaining at large because it’s never gonna change. I’ve tried numerous times to quiet the hunger. I laid down for that man so he could see me. I wanted him to see me. Everybody don’t got 20/20 vision. He’ll never see me. No matter how soft or contorted I become for him. No matter how easy I become. No matter the lower my tone gets. Or the higher my heels get. Or the more food I cook and feed him. Or the nonstop stroking I do for his mind, body and soul. He will never see me. And do I really want a man that’s taking this long to open his eyes? His vision is clouded and even if the skies cleared today, the time invested for a man who never even tried is something I can’t get back. I’ll always wonder why wasn’t it me… But I’m just not that woman. And I’ll never be.
Written march 1,2016
