I have huge commitment issues. I mean huge. And I finally met someone who is worth me willing to work through them. Psychologically working through my issues through projects. It’s forcing me to finish. To get frustrated. To keep trying. To reinforce the concept that just because it ain’t as easy as you thought doesn’t mean you can’t make something beautiful from it. I have a bad habit of just leaving when things ain’t goin right. Some ppl just weren’t worth the hassle or the fight, for me. Some weren’t fulfilling me, mentally and emotionally. Some were good just for the moment. But when you’re mindful of your behaviors and you’re more than willing to make things work, you work through your issues. And that’s what I’ve been doin. Half the time I feel like running, my relationship is asking too much of me that I feel I can’t produce. But in reality, it’s really not. When I’m working on my little projects I feel like I’m overwhelming myself, expecting too much of myself. But I’m not. My relationship is not. This is forcing me to find new ways to approach, helping me understand that it’s ok to mess up, that over time it will get easier. I’m crazy. I know I am. But it’s helping. Me. And this man.
And that’s all that matters.
I’m gonna make an awesome therapist soon.
Have a good evening everyone.
Written June 28,2016