Can we still call it being selfish or blaming it on just poor behavior on our parts? When do we begin to own all that we are doing? Laying across your chest, listening to the melodies your body conducts, I feel alive. The pulsing. The throbbing and moving of a heart I want to hold.… Read More Diary entry: 10/8/17
Artist: the-philogynist I’m supposed to stop. It’s about control right now. I can bring myself to the tipping point but not allowing the full moment to take over. It’s sickening in its truth but there’s formation taking place. Building. Allowing for the space to be filled. I’m waiting. Still mouthing every letter of your name.… Read More Diary entry: 10/4/17
I will never not be convinced that something was there. At least more should have been explored. The idea of leaving was never enough during our time, but it was dangerously weighed. Do you ever wonder just how beautiful we would’ve become in the openness of passion? The what if’s will forever preoccupy a wondering… Read More Diary entry: 8/18/17
“We should have never met”, is repeated almost every day. Reciting the same line in the mirror and then watching my hands try to replicate your touch. They search all over for an opening. The discoveries are always exhilarating. The excitement is gripping. You can feel its origin pulsing rhythmically the deeper you get. I… Read More Diary entry: 7/24/17
I should really be conducting myself better than this, being that I am practically a married woman, although everyone knows almost doesn’t count. But explain that to a man who comes from a home where love was never questioned. It’s hard to get a conditioned mind away from the concept of monogamy. We met a… Read More The adulteress
It’s not that easy to describe this addiction. The type of addiction that results in codependency. The type of addiction that reels its beautiful self at least twice a month on Tuesdays because that’s the schedule for now. Two blue cosmos, even though I said I would stop drinking. Even though I said it doesn’t… Read More Two Blue Cosmos
I am not sure when the sun will come out again but this weather definitely makes you want to stay in bed. Roll around the empty bed, stretching. Smiling. Thinking about ways to call out of work. Maybe not call out just call to say I’m going to be late. Just to enjoy the thunderstorm… Read More Diary entry: 7/2/17
I would never ask more from you than I am willing to give. I’ve never been an unfair lover. A selfish lover, but never unjust. Never too over powering. Never too much. Because just the right amount is enough. The right amount of? Well, isn’t that the beauty of lovers? The discoveries that are made,… Read More Diary entry: 8/4/17
The beauty of our relationships not only lie in the mistakes we make but in the way we handle the endings/beginnings. At least, I think so. When I look at them I remember why I believe so much in love and life. When I look at them I am remembering what love looks like, what… Read More “What’s next” after the storm: a brief intro on my parents
He would get so mad, so uncharacteristically mad sometimes. I would look past it only because why am I tending to this man? This man who has made it very clear, crystal clear that this is simply a fair exchange. So what purpose would me healing wounds do? It’s been years. Some soft. Some hard.… Read More Lovers mistakes.
Written: November 16,2013 It’s the sensuality. The way you cup my breast and fill your mouth with my body. How freely your hands roam to places the candlelight cannot find tonight. The inhales. The gasps as newer places are discovered. The laughter shared as we venture off to this place we’ve been so many times… Read More Midnight lovers.
I remember the summer’s heat that night. Earlier that day pointless conversations were pursued. Talks about why things just couldn’t continue. Why are things the way things were. About the fact that I am not yours. And you would never be mine. An uneven exchange of dialogue between lovers is always a complete waste of… Read More Summer’s heat.