Diary Entries

Diary entry: 11/3/17

I play on the notion that there’s a possibility something more can be created. Something more can be given. Something else can be tasted. It’s another form of optimism I️ must share with you. It’s silly to be hopeful that you would consider ever wanting to be and have more with a woman like myself. But there’s more to me than you think or know or understand or could comprehend. There’s no joy in continuing to live in love this way. None. The importance of separation is key in keeping it together. Do you understand? Workless with emotions and focus on necessities is how I️ maneuver and am able to sleep at night. The only thing we ever want to accomplish is to feel alive. To feel that gust of wind beneath us, taking us higher and higher, to the point that fear no longer exist. And underneath you I️ can close my eyes and feel the world begin to take form. Maybe I’ve romanticized you to the point you are without flaws, but what is writing these love letters to you if I️ don’t get to glorify all that you are? I️ want you in ways that I️ shouldn’t because there are ways that I️ would give myself that you wouldn’t, but it’s a quarter after six and I’ve been sleeping with thoughts of you all night. I️ wish there was a better way… but

I️ am unsure of how to let go, lover.

Picture information: Model: @brandinecole_
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