Diary Entries

Diary entry: 9/3/17

Picture info:

Loathsome Passages

18×14 cm. oil on paper

Artist: Nickie Zimov

I live two lives when I think of you. So I try not to relive moments, as asked. It’s torturous to live this way. To love and to lust. If the two worlds would combine I could stop beating myself up over it. To find the love and passion I want, is to begin the search all over again. We always think we have the time. Most of the time when we speak you think I’m only speaking of you, but I share my secrets too. There’s more to me than just wanting. I’m a bit empty at the moment and when I try to possibly be rejuvenated, there’s always something. I live in two worlds and I am tired. My body quivers at the memory of your lips, how do I move on from all of this? I want to create new memories with a lover I can have for more than just a moment. More than just night. I want a greater lover. The greatest lover, the one I write about who makes me feel more than just alive and sexy. I want the lover that makes me feel like home, again.

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