letters to my lovers

Two Blue Cosmos

It’s not that easy to describe this addiction. The type of addiction that results in codependency. The type of addiction that reels its beautiful self at least twice a month on Tuesdays because that’s the schedule for now. Two blue cosmos, even though I said I would stop drinking. Even though I said it doesn’t always have to begin this way but smile under the terrible lighting of this bar. Even though we both agreed we would rather live another way but what’s better than this? What better way to enjoy our time than to a toast for each rendezvous that’s given? What did we call this again, survival? That’s right, when you’re able to sleep at night this technique is called survival. Keep each other thirsty, Kisses like Hershey, But lips is sealed Cause we don’t need the controversy,  do you remember that song? This was back before we understood what Black Thought was trying to teach us about the trials and tribulations on love. Yes, survival because we love love and we love who we love, but the love carried in the middle of the night weighs far more than the love we cherish in the light. I wouldn’t say it’s the taboo of it, I think it’s a little deeper than that. The thrill of the act is gone, that left around year one or so. No, it’s not the taboo of it anymore but we leave that for the liquor to spill. So we continue to fill our glasses to the rim and carry on pointless conversations just as foreplay. We sit back in the moments and playfully wonder what it would be like to escape together into a world where we don’t have to sit back and ponder on such trivial things. A world where we could exist, in real time and not just the time we steal from others. It would be as simple as taking a walk in the park on a warm fall day, watching the leaves change and slowly wither off branches. Timeless, would be our word. Timeless would be our world. Our creation. No restraints. No curfews. We would count the stars and less the minutes. Can you imagine?  We live dangerously for perspective purposes only, constantly in battle on whether or not this is all real. I mean why else would anybody want to love but, I digress. I am happy we are here again. You look amazing as always, just like the first day we met. Let’s celebrate another stolen Tuesday night together.

Here’s a toast, to a lover so divine, that I’d risk it all to have another night beneath you.

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