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A type of welcoming. 

Things are falling apart while things are coming together. I heard that a woman goes through many changes before she becomes the woman she is meant to be. Redundant I know, but the breaking down and all the building up is becoming tiresome. I know who I am and all that I want to be but sometimes I can’t stop crying and doubting all the things that have become me. I lose and I gain and the torment in between is causing the fluctuation in my confidence. I’m proud of all that I am and I need to learn that although people will never see me in all the greatness I see in myself that their opinions shouldn’t alter my perception. I stand strong against myself, at times I wish the strength would transpire to being able to ricochet the negativity daily. I’m finding the world is beginning and spinning even when my days or my realities are harder to swallow then the warm mint tea I make in the morning. I don’t know, I don’t remember exactly how worn down my soul has gotten but my prayers often end with me repeating “forgive me”…. 

I wonder when it stops…

Written: August 19,2014

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