You ever just sit in the car listening to The Roots ft. Jill Scott “complexity” thinking about life and the choices that you’ve made? Today was supposed to be stressful but for whatever reason the pressure did bust the pipes, this time. I feel like I’m not moving as fast as the most high wants me to and I can feel the universe growing tired of my cautious moves. Like what a feeling, to watch your own life play itself out before your eyes and you’re just smiling and crying at the same time. I’m lost at the moment but I’ve never cared less. I think I’ve been needing to get lost just so I can finally and truly find my own way. I remember my favorite writer on here, bellahugo, wrote “clarity, it’s a beautiful thing”. I need that clarity and if I have to lose my way, lose parts of me to achieve it, I’m more than willing to just let it all go. I promise there will always be moments that are going to force you to really and truly reflect and become aware of where you are. Today was exactly what I needed. And it’s funny how the most high answers your prayers. I’ve always said just pay attention, give life the recognition it deserves and things will work themselves out. I can’t believe how nonchalant I feel at this moment, how relieving it is to just not care. Now,this, is nice.
Written May 19,2014